Running Wild - Shadowmaker [2012]

One should not underestimate the love I harbor for most of Running Wild's extensive catalog. The traditional metal powerhouse's absolute golden period stretching from Port Royal to Black Hand Inn competes with metal's best works in any arena, demolishing all revivalist wannabe bands with little effort and besting even competent modern attempts at creating their swashbuckling sound. It is with a certain degree of sadness, then, that my first write-up for this legendary group of pirates must come in the form of reviewing a release as shoddy and halfhearted as Shadowmaker. After a seven year absence, little has changed since previous contemporary Running Wild albums; the flame that inspired masterworks like Death or Glory is once again nowhere to be found, and the listener is left wondering what Rock'n'Rolf came back for at all.


To be honest, Shadowmaker isn't quite the irredeemable disaster it could have been, but if it weren't for occasionally entertaining and catchy tracks like "Riding on the Tide," this record might have fallen into the same chasm that Morbid Angel and Queensryche's latest 'efforts' now fester in.Where are the awesome riffs? Where is the gritty tone and atmosphere? Most importantly, where did the inspiration go? One thing remains certain: it's not here. The numbingly clean production and upbeat songwriting only serve to make the overbearing sense of "jolliness" here more prevalent. The painfully awkward brotherhood anthem "Me and the Boys" is the most overt display of this. This song is easily the nadir of the album, and frankly, it's simply embarrassing to listen to. Seriously, who thought this whole comeback thing was a good idea again?


The mediocrity doesn't stop there, though. Another tepid trend in Shadowmaker's musical direction is the constant lack of speed. Sure, I don't need every track to be booking 240 beats a minute, but this album is almost depressingly slow. Songs like "Black Shadow" crawl so free from haste that I nearly fall asleep before they reach their midway points. Speed up. I'm pretty sure Running Wild was in a contest with itself to see how boring they could get when they wrote this drivel. They won. "Dracula" would like to trick you with its 7-minute length that it follows the bloodline of the band's brilliant epics, but let's just say this isn't another "Battle of Waterloo." The song does nothing to justify its length or existence, plodding along linearly, and the most I can say for it is that it finally delivers the end of a misguided, sterile album. 


I know I've been hard on Running Wild here, but they deserve it. This squad has shown the capability to deliver material of quality far superior to that found on this disc. About as much thought was put into this music as the amount of effort given to create its sub-par cover art. For every decent track like "Piece of the Action," there are three more bargain bin "Locomotive"s waiting right around the corner. Shadowmaker gets worse as it goes on, and each listen becomes increasingly tedious and difficult to bear. It only raises one all too appropriate question: what was the point of coming back if this is the final product? Having heard the album more times than I would have liked, Shadowmaker has convinced me that it is little more than the work of an aging Rolf seeking another check. After all, there is little inspiration to be found here to my ears aside from the quest for more green. Perhaps it's time to hang it up and go home.


   Overall: 4/10 (Poor)

Unisonic - Unisonic [2012]

The Ignition EP released two months before Unisonic's debut blew me away, evoking melodic perfection while maintaining a decidedly non-heavy sound. The product was sweet and succinct, almost sounding like 80s Helloween boiled down to its most simplistic roots, and it was nearly as enjoyable. I'm satisfied to say that while the personally breathtaking EP might have raised my expectations to a point never reached here, Unisonic mostly delivers with dazzling finesse. This is carefree, hard rock music in its purest form, no shame or embarrassment about it. Sometimes it lingers close to the edge of airhead pop rock, but never does it plummet to the depths of abyssal songwriting stupidity.


My review of Ignition basically summed up the musical direction here, but I'll reiterate and expound upon Unisonic's style with further development. The most important thing to tell yourself before listening to this album is that this isn't Helloween. Yes, it reunites Kai Hansen and Michael Kiske, but Unisonic isn't exactly another Keeper of the Seven Keys. Only trace remains can be found from the glory days of the legendary German power kings, and their connections persist mainly in abstract elements like the sheer energy and jubilant nature of the performances. For the most part, this record is made up of light and generally radio-friendly material, forging its roots firmly in rock rather than engraving itself fully as a power metal entity.


That isn't to say, however, that the songs often suffer for it. The majority of the tunes featured here succeed thanks to capable songwriting and a penchant for having fun; hell, a lot of fun. There are numbers that will be stuck in your head for days (even if we already heard them two months ago). "Never Change Me" features a chorus that would sound appropriate in a Katy Perry song, but I just can't care when it's this catchy. "Never Too Late" and "I've Tried" are a similar pair of stadium stompers, the latter of which bouncing around like a track in a Persona game's soundtrack (which is a very good thing). "Renegade" summons some of power metal glory missing in the rest of the proceedings.

The true showstoppers disappointingly remain those that we already heard on the EP, making that release a little misleading and this one slightly disappointing as a result. Perfect opener "Unisonic," the instant classic "My Sanctuary," and the brilliant "Souls Alive" all dominate the meat of the album, offering more power and memorable hooks than the rest of the songs. This separation in quality is more noticeable as the record goes on, as the second half is a bit lacking in impact compared to the first. Closing ballad "No One Ever Sees Me" isn't the most despicable ballad I've heard this year, but it doesn't leave much of an impression, either. The only track I find myself actively skipping with each playthrough is "Star Rider," which is just about as close as this band comes to recording totally banal, commercial tripe.

Although Unisonic doesn't quite live up to the promise of its debut EP here, and this isn't the ideal comeback one would hope for from the talent involved, I still couldn't help but be entertained for the time allotted. Most of the songs are on and there's fun to be had, so what could be the harm, right? Michael Kiske, while not in prime dog-killing form, delivers the goods like a man of fewer years. As does Kai Hansen on guitar, even if you won't hear any fret-burning solos within the confines of this recording. Due to these reasons, Unisonic is kind of about settling, but luckily for us, it's worth settling for. Just don't expect the unattainable and you'll be good to go.

   Overall: 7.5/10 (Good - living on the edge)

Dragonforce - The Power Within [2012]

Call it bandwagon-jumping, call it joining a lynch mob, call it whatever the hell you want, but I have always disliked Dragonforce's brand of ridiculously upbeat, speedy power metal nonsense. Granted, I never hated the band with the insane passion 80% of the metal community has since their mainsteam breakout with Guitar Hero (they were never important enough to me to get upset about), but everything I've heard from them did leave me with a seriously bad taste in my mouth, and a genuinely severe headache in addition. That ends with The Power Within, which is actually listenable thanks to a change of pipes and some minor (but noticeable) revisions to the band's songwriting. Interesting, considering that it's all behind some of the blandest, most generic album covers I've ever seen...

I shouldn't imply that Dragonforce's many haters will magically be won over by this new release, because really, little has changed musically in this camp. This stuff is still built upon (mostly) blistering speed, obvious melodies and hooks, an overabundance of rapid fire keyboards, and an insistence to punch the listen in the face with a dense sound containing more instrumentation than the ear can possibly perceive at once. The sheer excess has been limited a bit this time around, though, getting to the point faster with considerably shorter songs, making Dragonforce's polarizing sonic force a bit easier to swallow. The biggest improvement, however, comes in the vocal department. ZP Theart always annoyed me with his grating, nasally singing, but his fortunate departure has yielded the much better Marc Hudson, who delivers vocals with a more restrained, Americanized accent. He knows how to hit the notes and when to hold back, the latter of which I can't claim for any of the other band members.

Individually notable tracks are few and far between in these parts, but I do favor the dashing duo of the more mid-paced (!) "Cry Thunder" and the glorious "Give Me the Night," the best song here and probably the best in Dragonforce's entire discography. All in all, The Power Within was surprisingly enjoyable despite my initial reservations. However, I still don't find this band's style very captivating, myself usually preferring the more powerful crunch of American power metal. Certain bands like vintage Helloween and Labyrinth have broken this negative spell, but I doubt that Dragonforce, even in this reformed state, ever will. Still, it's not the worthless flower metal I might have expected, and I would definitely recommend it to genre fans. Just skip that overstuffed disaster "Wings of Liberty," though.

   Overall: 6.75/10 (Fair)

Unisonic - Ignition [2012 EP]

My attachment to golden era Helloween was perhaps one of the single most important developments in my youth as a growing metalhead. From the intro of "Ride the Sky" to the closing notes of "Keeper of the Seven Keys", rarely has a band given me so much joyous mileage as Helloween, and I think it's all right to say that no small amount of sentimental value has come along for the ride. I may not have lived through the tragedy myself, but you could probably predict my horror at the nightmarish descent into the musical abyss Kiske and company decided to take after such a flawless run of albums with travesties like Pink Bubbles Go Ape (sorry, I'll always hate it) and Chameleon. Michael Kiske had a lot of explaining to do, and it appears now that he's trying to make amends--and with Kai Hansen, no less. You can imagine my girlish squeal of joy at the though of such a reunion.

However, from the sound of their debut EP Ignition, Unisonic isn't about to unleash the followup to Keeper of the Seven Keys Pt. 2; and you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that. I came to terms with that the minute I pressed play and heard "Unisonic" for the first time. Suddenly, auditory power erupted, along with the highly hard rock influenced riff, and last but not least, Kiske let it loose over that groovin' verse. And so the chills began to descend my spine. This is what the metal world has been missing for the past two decades. It's an entirely simple track, arguably absentminded even, yet its absorbing power cannot be mistaken. Fuck, it destroys. Even as it treads dangerously close to Pink Cream 69 levels of glam-influenced cheese, "Unisonic" comes off as closer to early era Riot goodness: fun, not afraid to let loose and be casual, but completely serious about what it's doing at the same time. Perfect and infinitely enjoyable rock/metal music.

Carrying along in a similar manner, "My Sanctuary" changes things up a little bit. Slower and slightly more atmospheric than the opening barn-burner, the song mesmerizes with an emotive and unforgettable chorus while never truly approaching ballad status. Kiske is in great form, not really hitting his old high notes but finding a comfortable and ultimately satisfying middle ground. It's really just euphoric hearing his voice attached to a full-time metal (or rock, whatever) project again, giving the already spotless songwriting another touch of reinforcement. Really, this material is all about the great songwriting, reminding me of TNT's late 80s material. Straightforward, but stunningly elegant and catchy to boot. "Souls Alive" carries on in the same manner as its predecessor, and I don't think I'm crazy to believe I hear some Kamelot influence in that balladic section near the end.

The EP is capped off with a filler live version of "I Want Out," an obvious attempt to attach Unisonic to the Helloween name and show that Kiske can still come out and do what he was born to do. His performance here isn't quite perfect, but I'm still rather impressed. To be honest, I am trying to restrain my excitement and joy for this new outfit, but Ignition is making the task hard. I looked and looked, but I can't find one damn flaw (musically) here. The only problem with this release is that it'll be completely useless once the full-length is bestowed upon us, since all these tracks (save for the already useless live song) will be featured on that self-titled album. Therefore, its purchase is impractical and unnecessary (literally the only reason for my somewhat modest score). However, it has made me aware of an album I probably wouldn't have had the slightest expectations for previously. Thanks for ruining the surprise.

If you're expecting Keepers era Helloween, you're going to be sadly disappointed. However, if you're seeking a fun and exuberant time, it almost never gets better than this. We could have an Immortal Soul caliber comeback pretty soon, but I'm going to do myself a favor and try not to think about it too much. Oh, who am I kidding, I'll be counting the days.

   Overall: 7/10 (Cool - must...stifle...excitement...)

Ecliptica - Journey Saturnine [2012]

I do have to give Ecliptica some credit. After looking at that band name, that vaguely (ahem) familiar logo, and even the somewhat flashy cover art, I think most would reach the same hypothesis as to what to expect here. However, Ecliptica throws an unexpected curveball; they are, in fact, not an exact copy of Sonata Arctica, as you no doubt noticed I was suggesting earlier. However, they don't completely escape the lull of humdrum genericism, either. Journey Saturnine is a (mostly) inoffensive, but entirely predictable and formulaic album.

For the most part, Ecliptica plays par for the course, safe power metal songs. This isn't the kind of PM with extreme, florid keyboards or speed, however, and frankly I'm not sure whether the band could handle such a style. There isn't exactly evidence of a plethora of unique talents showing through here, but that could simply be the result of just how restrained this material is. Nothing is particularly offensive about Journey Saturnine (apart from one abysmal song); it's just sort of... well, there. Too many midpaced clunkers with shoddy, simplistic riffs crowd the track-listing, and too few of the songs deviating from this repetitive scheme contain any convincing hooks to remember.

The most questionable department here is definitely the vocals. They're so hit or miss it's almost unbelievable. Thomas Tieber gives a decent effort without showing too much range, reminding me of Evergrey's vocalist in some respects. Apart from his average, clean performance, however, the other attempts fail on a sometimes humorously awful level. Some harsh vox are provided in a few tracks, and both their utilization and execution are awkward at best. The female singing is absolutely atrocious. I can't tell if their overt throatiness or tone of apathy are intentional, but I do know for sure that it's not working. Like, at all; maybe for a 70s blues band, but not Ecliptica.

The absolute nadir of Journey Saturnine comes in the form of "Without You," which basically redefines how low one can go with a power ballad: putrid vocals, coma-inducing melodies, and truly mind-numbing songwriting. If this track had come in the middle of the album, I honestly would have stopped listening to it entirely. It's that bad. As it stands though, this is just a slightly below average power metal album that will fade from memory shortly after listening to it. It's not bad to affront the senses, but I was in Ecliptica, I certainly wouldn't quit my day job just yet. Just try harder next time.

   Overall: 4.5/10 (Poor)

Amalgama - Мечта [2012]

Amalgama is one of those Russian power metal bands that you rarely hear of outside their native country, a type of group that you find incidentally while surfing the net for new music to listen to. Unlike three-fourths of the bands I've discovered in this manner, however, this one is actually good at what they do. This is an upbeat melodic power metal squadron armed to entertain with high-flying, surgical tactics.

What's so special about Amalgama? Technically, not much. They deliver simplistic rhythms and melodious leads typical of other better known genre outfits, with to-the-point songwriting and a penchant for tasty hooks. The difference here, however, is in the execution. There's this whimsical lightheartedness at play here, making the admittedly familiar proceedings much more interesting. Sure, as a result the album never really rivals the intensity or power of a Helloween record, but it keeps the energy level up enough as not to fall into dumb frills, either. The vocals should receive some attention, too; they keep the songs afloat with high register melody, stunningly clean while bearing a harsher edge during the more over the top segments. You almost forget they're in Russian until that one English chorus every Russian band seems inclined to have on its album ("Kings of Sky," ironically the best song on here and a stunningly catchy and energetic number in its own right).

I can't say I liked everything, however. The slower balladic moments on this disc don't work nearly as much as when the band's really rockin' out. Track four is good evidence of that, reminding me of an uninspired and cheesy Scorpions imitation more than anything else. Also, the contents tend to feel a bit bare, especially when considering that few sub-40 minute power metal albums have left much of an impact beyond their heyday in the 80s. In the end, Amalgama does create a fun and convincing enough record to give a spin or two when you're tired of your overbearing, fantasy-drenched "epic" metal tomes.

   Overall: 7.5/10 (Good)

Lost in Thought - Opus Arise [2011]

Lost in Thought is yet another project backed by prestigious producer Jacob Hansen, following in the great tradition of modern progressive juggernauts Anubis Gate and Pagan's Mind. Indeed, the music itself is pretty much an amalgam of every modern progressive metal tendency ever thought of. You've got your high register, hyper-melodic vocalist with a slight accent, an absolutely flawless, crystal clear production, over the top keyboards, and relatively simple songs that often manage to stretch themselves out across 6-7 minute tracks; and it's all delivered with top notch musicianship and an almost overbearing insistence upon achieving complete and utter perfection. Yep, it's another one of those bands, but really, Lost in Thought isn't half bad.

The good news here is that Lost in Thought doesn't strike the listener as the soulless prog machine many of these bands do. Nate Loosemore's smooth voice doesn't take command with a lot of power or character, but it is emotive enough to remember some of the more developed choruses here. That's another positive: repeating parts and songs instead of pointless meanderings. Not every track is perfect, but songs like gracefully forceful "Entity" and the Pyramaze-like "Blood Red Diamond" (sporting the most memorable chorus on the album) certainly leave a good impression. The airy, 'happy' "Seek to Find" is an uplifting number. Unfortunately, the second half can't quite live up to the first. The band's eponymous track shines, however, with the most impressive instrumentation on the record.

I do have to give the band credit for managing to hold back the desire to go all Dream Theater and challenge the limits of what a CD can hold length-wise. Fifty minutes is just the right length for this style, as any more would feel tedious and any less would come off as cheap. Still, I can't say I was fully enthralled for the entire duration. May problem with this release probably lies in the fact that we've all heard this exact song and dance dozens of times before, so nothing here really remains all that surprising or interesting after a couple good listens. However, Opus Arise is still a decent stab at the genre, and its definitely worth a listen or two from progressive metal fans for its highlights. I have a feeling this isn't the last I'll hear from this band, so maybe they'll strike even harder next time.

   Overall: 7/10 (Good)

Battle Beast - Steel [2011]

In the case of Battle Beast's debut full length Steel, the cover art perfectly depicts the music beneath it. The image is amateurish, looking as if a middle schooler lost in a fantasy world sketched it on his desk in the middle of chemistry, not realizing that he is restricting himself in the intelligence department by not paying attention in the process. Couple that with the desperately "metal" logo and band name, and one could surmise that this is somebody who has dreams that far surpass his ability to actually make them come true. Well, this band is no different. Battle Beast plays a bare bones 80's heavy metal style with some anthemic keyboards sprinkled underneath, and the results mostly end up faring just as cheesily as its laughable cover. This is simply stupid power metal at its most unremarkable.

Built upon mid-paced riffs that are liberally borrowed from the heydays of bands like Dio and Dokken, most songs on Steel completely fail to stand apart from one another. Combine that with the mind-numbingly repetitive choruses (most evident on the painful "The Band of the Hawk"), and the charm the album exudes during its first half quickly fades into oblivion with its second. In the midst of this hairspray-polluted fairyland, only female vocalist Nitte Valo provides a convincing performance, putting forth just as much power, grit, and range as any man could, even if her voice does sound a bit overwrought at times. Unfortunately, her inspiration just makes the ridiculously juvenile lyrics more disappointing. I'm sorry, but I'd personally like to see more effort than songs titled "Justice and Metal" (chorus repeated ad nauseum) and "Enter the Metal World." We get it; you're a fucking metal band. Grow up.

Granted, the album does have a few strengths, mostly coming in the form of some songs several cuts above the rest. "Armageddon Clan" strikes with a fierce power missing from the rest of the mix, and I must reluctantly admit that the title track is insanely catchy despite its lyrics making me want to hurl. "Victory" is a memorable closer, going for a subtler power than the other tracks. However, the highlights are simply too sparse to warrant listening to this again. Steel is a mildly enjoyable album upon first listen, but in its attempt to win me over with repetition, its overly insistent onslaught of melody only drives me away from it. I can see how this brand of empty-headed metal might appeal to those looking for a good time, but for me, the proceedings are a just a tad too dumb. Maybe next time will be different.

   Overall: 5/10 (Mediocre)

Anubis Gate - Anubis Gate [2011]

There is no better band than Anubis Gate. Hell, I’d be tempted to say there has never been a better band than Anubis Gate. Album after album and year after year, this Danish progressive power metal act has surpassed all, utterly destroying more well-renowned groups like Dream Theater or Symphony X while never becoming too showy or self-indulgent in the process. Albums such as Andromeda Unchained and especially The Detached have come full circle, creating worlds within their extra terrestrial soundscapes with impeccable originality and an out of this world sound; however, even I, possibly the biggest Anubis Gate fan ever (to which I will admit proudly), had some panicked doubts when the enormously talented Jacob Hansen stepped down as the vocalist. Wasting no time, the band still delivered this new record right on schedule. Does it live up its name?

Well, as you’ve probably already guessed, it does just that and then some. The simply self-titled Anubis Gate grabs your attention with its mesmerizing album artwork and keeps it with the astounding hour of music beyond. The title seems to fit the motif here, this being the band’s first without a concept since A Perfect Forever. It could also serve as a convincing resume to Anubis Gate’s entire body of work, containing elements from each of the group’s eras. Some of the tracks call to the powerful riffing of Purification while others assume the spacey finesse of their more recent works. There’s something here for fans of each style, and truly, fans of any kind of non-extreme metal music will be left in wonder by this display of sheer perfection. When considering the amount of disparate ideas expressed by Anubis Gate’s fifth masterpiece, the shining musical victory here becomes that much more dumbfounding.

The performances are top notch as always, perhaps standing out even more now than ever. The department people will be concerned about the most is the vocals. Rest assured, they’re in safe hands; bassist and long time lyric writer Henrik Fevre flawlessly assumes the position, delivering an emotive performance well beyond that which I could have ever imagined. He has that distinctive Danish sound, finding the middle ground between previous singers Askholm and Hansen, higher pitched than the technically far superior to the former, but not far removed from the latter. Everything else about this album is a logical progression, and the vocals are no exception. They’re affluent with youth and vitality, lacking not in grandeur or intricate harmonies (though that tactic has been slightly toned down when compared to The Detached).

Kim Olesen delivers a typically wonderful showcase through two mediums, that of lead guitar and keyboards. The synthesizers and those little electronic effects are what really make the Anubis Gate sound what it is, and they’re here in the greatest abundance yet. Each nook and cranny is filled with these graceful, atmospheric keys, managing to add an essential component to the band’s otherworldly feel while not coming off as forced in doing so. Look to the intro of “World in a Dome” for a pyrotechnic example. Morten Sorensen’s drum playing is pristine also, putting on a jaw-dropping show particularly on “Telltale Eyes.” Of course, individual performances mean nothing if the songs themselves don’t measure up. Luckily, exceptional songwriting is the facet that takes Anubis Gate from great to brilliant. It should be noted that all primary members contribute material, saving this from the power-hungry monopoly seen all too often in other groups. This fact shows through in colorful shades of diversity.

“Hold Back Tomorrow” is the perfect opener, a well-structured piece that builds progressively through stages to its vocal sweetness. Mid-paced “The Re-formation Show” might be my favorite on the entire album just because its sprawling chorus is so damn catchy, surprising when you consider how abnormal and off-time that riff just beneath it is. Sometimes I find myself singing “it’s been a long, long time” out of nowhere because of this song. “Facing Dawn” is a kinetic maelstrom of melodic fireworks from start to finish. “World in a Dome” is the slowest to develop of all the tracks, but when all’s said and done, it’s still a nice eight minute stomper. This is where the album really takes off into the skies. “Desiderio Omnibus” arrives with unmistakable power and a chorus for the ages, creating the fastest and most energetic song on the release. This tune gives off a strong US power metal vibe, not to mention some similarities to Kamelot.

The biggest surprise comes in the form of “Oh My Precious Life,” a resounding, distorted frenzy complete with a hard rock riff gone progressive. The results stun. Another one for the highlight reel, “Golden Days” displays commercial effectiveness yet doesn’t lose an ounce of its genuine emotion. The synths and lyrics here are simply majestic. “Telltale Eyes” crushes with supreme heaviness at first, but unveils a sweeping synth web that catches the listener during its elegant and unforgettable chorus. “River” is a mostly instrumental number that serves simultaneously as a nice poem and intro for “Circumstanced,” the epic nine minute conclusion. The music and lyrics portray the subject matter, a past love not wanted, with poignant reality. All in all, it’s a very appropriate closer.

Now it’s official; in less than a decade, the Anubis Gate catalogue has officially become a dynasty. This band is on a death-defying streak of records that seriously challenges legends like Queen and Rush during their prime periods. I can only hope they last just as long and get a similarly heated following. It's admittedly not as reality-defying as its predecessors The Detached and Andromeda Unchained, the former of which I would view as an example of veritable perfection, but it still stands tall among the myriad genre pieces released today.  No other band in prog creates such well-crafted songs of sublime composition with a sound as unique and atmospheric as this. Sadly, this will be another occasion when the deserving are cast aside for the popular fading idols of yesteryear. I can only invite the enlightened to partake in this excellence.

   Overall: 9.25/10 (Outstanding - you're just a phantom in my soul)

Pagan's Mind - Heavenly Ecstasy [2011]

Pagan's Mind has been one of my personal favorites for some time now. Their albums Celestial Entrance and Enigmatic: Calling still stand the test of time, two classics of progressive power metal that any fan of the genre should partake in if they've made the mistake of not doing so already. The following release God's Equation was a dissapointment, however, seeing the band grazing in groovier pastures. It wasn't really too bad in retrospect, to be honest, but I still hoped that Pagan's Mind would return to a realm more akin to their past. Well, they have and they haven't. Heavenly Ecstasy (notably the band's first album not to be clad in a blue cover) sounds and feels vastly different from their masterpieces of yesteryear. This is more of a verse-chorus romp of 80's influenced power metal, wrapped in the flawless atmospheric sound of modern times. Some progressive flourishes from their past still surface in varying quantities, but that side of their music seems to have been vastly extinguished in favor of uber-melodic leanings; and it works. It works so well, in fact, that the album is damn near flawless.

First on the agenda is the man behind most of this band's success: Nils K. Rue. Apart from Jacob Hansen and (the formerly brilliant) Roy Khan, no active vocalist in this expansive sector of music is even close to touching his pristine voice, which creates this sort of sinergized flow when complemented by the band's clean-cut leads. His high notes belt out pure power, but he also has the ability to subtly let himself take flight over the ethereal music below. He seems to have a natural ear for melody, smoothly and effortlessly singing his cheesy space lyrics. I mean that in an endearing way. Some of the effects-ridden screaming and growling from God's Equation still invade the otherwise shiny soundscapes, but when used in moderation as they are here, they're much more acceptable. Rue's overall performance is mesmerizing; absolutely top-shelf.

The music built around his voice ain't too shabby, either, which means to say that it's awesome. The sound has clearly been retooled to make it more accessible, which sounds like a bad move until you actually hear it. It seems that Pagan's Mind have taken an even greater amount of inspiration from their Norweigan neighbors, the almighty TNT, than ever before. The traditional structures and occasionally classic rockin' feel certainly contribute to this vibe, as does the very familiar opening riff to "Intermission." This is not to say that this is an entirely heaviness-free affair. "Into the Aftermath," "The Master's Voice," and the epic "Revelation to an End" all provide unmistakable power in great measure. Personally, though, I take the most solace in the wonderful dreamier tracks. "Never Walk Alone" is the most similar to Pagan's Mind's past on here, and a further testament to the band's ability to create elegant sound waves that resonate endlessly in our minds. These songs portray happiness itself, and not in the derogatory way often used to describe power metal, but in a pure emotional form. "Follow Your Way" is the absolute highlight for me, a keyboard-drenched wonder that never loses sight of the human element, with interesting twists and turns and a chorus for the ages only adding to its dreamwoven perfection.

If I have anything negative to say about Heavenly Ecstasy, it's that it may be too melodic, too accessible; but that really isn't that much of a problem in the grand scheme of things. This is a release that has met and exceeded my expectations. If you're a fan of this band that was lost due to God's Equation, then I highly recommend that you at least give this one a try. I still can't guaruntee that it will suit everyone's taste, given its simplified nature. As far as I'm concerned, it's among the best releases of the year, a release that truly lives up to its title. Now that they're on a fairly mainstream label, maybe they can gain a bigger following while keeping up their outstanding quality. Heres hoping.

  Overall: 8.5/10 (Great)

Portrait - Crimen Laesae Majestatis Divinae [2011]

Portrait is the latest retro craze in ballsy, old school metal, and their new (ridiculously titled) album Crimen Laesae Majestatis Divinae is a great showing as to why. What one realizes is that even the name is part of Portrait's retro persona; this is 80's power metal in its truest and most pretentious form (okay, so it falls short of Manowar in that regard). What I did not expect, however, is that the album doesn't flat out sound like a straight Mercyful Fate/King Diamond impersonation. Sure, the vocalist often sounds like a King dead ringer, and the band is quite liberal with using the Fate's distinctive riffs and leads, but there are enough little elements of classic US power metal, traditional (ala Iron Maiden or Jag Panzer), and progressive music to have the release feeling both fresh and nostalgic at the same time.

Since the band lost its first vocalist after the debut, they've found a suitably similar replacement in Per Karlsson. If any were worried that a change in pipes would be indicative of a decrease in quality, they really shouldn't; to my ears, at least, he's the superior singer. Not every falsetto and evil spoken part is perfectly on, but the guy gives it his all, and the outstanding choruses show it. The guitarists find a comfort zone using a somewhat involved string of rhythms and leads. I wouldn't call it a wall of sound per se, but there isn't a whole lot of space in there, either; but that's okay: the result is a near perfect emulation of 80's metal production. When you see the somewhat long song lengths, the first question you probably have is, are the songs memorable? The answer is a rousing "hell yes." It's almost surprising how swift the tracks seem to end considering this factor. An eight minute thumper like "Darkness Forever" will come and go without losing your interest. The refrains are apt to be trapped in your mind; just listen to mega-catchy numbers like "Beast of Fire" and "Bloodbath."

Of all the tracks here (just eight in 54 minutes), only "Infinite Descension," "The Nightcomers" and the atmospheric instrumental "The Wilderness Beyond" (see "To One Far Away") seem to be torn directly from the Mercyful Fate playbook. The rest aren't breaking new ground or presenting new ideas, but what Portrait does works. No need to be too critical about originality when that isn't the point of the band in the first place. Crimen Laesae Majestatis Divinae is never quite as glorious as Ghost's Opus Eponymous, but that's a different beast entirely. If you like the edgier side of retro Swedish things, such as In Solitude, then you shouldn't hesitate to check this album out.
  
   Overall: 8.25/10 (Great)

Evergrey - Glorious Collision [2011]

For playing music in such a forgivingly positive genre, Evergrey seems to take on a strange number of naysayers, a legion of nemeses who hate the band's work with every fabric of their beings; and although I may not be a radical in this anti-Evergrey movement, I will say that the majority of Evergrey's output is weak and unnecessary power metal. The only difference now is that they aren't even power metal anymore. Glorious Collision is a mess of an album that resembles modern rock more than it resembles anything the band has done before. With the inferior quality that has been perpetuated by this band for years, one must surely think that a little change might be just what the doctor ordered. However, with the interminable session of mediocrity that this album spews forth, it might be best to pull the plug here and now.

When I say "modern rock," I don't mean that it follows the current flow of worthless, upbeat, radio-friendly bands like Nickelback. No, this has more in common with the slower, understated genre, i.e. the one that won't make you regurgitate your guts on the floor while listening to it. Evergrey certainly doesn't impress anywhere on this disc, but I guess it could have been worse. These are simplistic, rather slow pieces built with whiny guitar and a heavy reliance on choruses. Unfortunately, the choruses often falter, and some are just bad (see: "Wrong," "Restoring the Loss"). Tom Englund is the most controversial part of the band and an interesting vocalist in his own right. He's not bad, but he lacks range and power, sounding more like an American Idol winner than a real metal vocalist. "You" is definite proof of this, a worthless commercial number lacking any point but to make a quick buck. Considering who they are and what they play, why did they think this would work?

If you're desperate to find highlights, I suppose opener "Leave It Behind Us" is a pretty decent arena anthem, and the semi-balladic "The Phantom Letters" creates a pretty good atmosphere. This may seem like a sparse writeup, but that directly reflects Evergrey's latest effort: there simply isn't much here to warrant its gratuitous length. Who would want this many tracks from a band with so little imagination? Despite the change of style, Glorious Collision is directly on par with its predecessors. You'd think the band would either get better or worse with this release. Go figure. To conclude, this isn't the most worthless, phoned-in album I've heard this year, but even if you like this watered down style of music, you could do much better. Only for the most loyal fans of Evergrey and hard rock.

   Overall: 5.25/10 (Mediocre)

Symfonia - In Paradisum [2011]

Well, first things first, the cover is one of the "happiest" (ahem) things I've ever seen in my life. I know that has no predetermined bearing on the music enclosed, but I thought it was worth mentioning, since it really does give one an accurate prediction of how this one plays out. This is some of the cheesiest, most repetitive, least imaginitive power metal I've ever heard compiled on a single compact disc. It's albums like this that cause terms such as "flower metal" to live on. Don't be fooled by the band name; this is Stratovarius, and these songs are the ones that couldn't even make it on their worst albums. In Paradisum is basically Infine pt. 2, except even worse this time around. All the same riffs, choruses, rhythms, and vocal patterns that polluted Stratovarius's weakest material are present here. There's not a shred of originality to be seen.

In Paradisum is an album that suffers from a little disorder I like to call "Two Minute Skip Syndrome;" after two minutes of each song, you're guarunteed to have heard all it will have to offer and you might as well just skip the rest of it. After all, why waste precious moments to hear the same poppy, upbeat chorus repeated ad nauseum? At least with ten identical songs at two minutes a piece, you're only wasting twenty minutes of your life and not the sadistic fifty included. This is the verse/chorus/verse/chorus/repeat chorus formula crammed down our throats repeatedly. It isn't heavy enough to be a headbanging good time, and it doesn't contain enough balladic beauty to be interesting, either. In Paradisum is the act of aging musicians stuck in the past, never finding the inspiration to do anything beyond the same release time and time again. Now that the carbon copies are elevating into double digit territory, I don't know whether to feel anger or pity.

Biggest embarrassments include the obligatory "epic" title track and "I Walk in Neon," a cheap replica of "Hunting High and Low." You'd figure Timo and his group of savages would want to stop wasting their lives doing this; you sorta only get one, you know. I actually like the helium-fueled chords of former Angra vocalist Andre Matos, so hearing him dying here is only more depressing; and he's still hitting the notes, too, making cliched straight-shooters like "Rhapsody in Black" actually sound somewhat decent. But one man can't save a band, and if there's ever been evidence of that fact, it's right here with Symfonia. This is a hollow shell of a band with no soul beneath its cotton candy exterior. No heart is beating under it's mechanized, emotionless skin, composed only of faulty spare parts that wouldn't fit its previous equally inferior models. Obvious metaphors aside, it just really fucking sucks.

   Overall: 3.5/10 (Bad)

Stratovarius - Fright Night [1989]

Before Stratovarius would go on to become one of the most overrated bands of the 90's, they started out as a scrappy little traditional act that emulated the talent of era the best they could. Unfortunately, the best they could wasn't very good at all. Fright Night is a mostly pathetic, cheap, generic ripoff of everything else that was already falling behind the times in 1989. It mostly just sounds like a garage cover band of Iron Maiden attempting to create their own material for the first time; obvious choruses, repetitve song structures, and pointless solos that seem to be there just to show that Tolkki can do it (sadly for us, no one told him that he couldn't sing). Yep, this is one of those debuts that makes you wonder how the hell a band that started like this could go on to make some great material.

First of all, I normally don't go out of way to criticize the physical product, but look at that cover art. Wow, someone must have spent two minutes looking through a stock folder of crappy free artwork to find that. Then there's the song titles. Three with the word "night"? Future Shock? False Messiah? Darkness?! Anyone should be able to sense that something isn't quite right here. Somehow, the music lives up to the titles. Every minute oozes with mediocrity and boredom. In particular, Tolkki's vocals are completely dismal. Although he would get better all the way up to Kotipelto's debut with the band, he really hadn't learned the ropes by this point. For the entire album he sings in mid-range (but more like no range, if you get my drift), sort of just sneering and talking his way through it. The words he's "singing" aren't exactly golden, either. The ultimate lowlight, the ridiculously overlong title track, contains the most stupefying lyrics of all.

"Feel the night, conceal your fright
It came from your right
Look what you found lying on the ground
Shiny ball you don´t know anything at all"

Other deep concepts explored on this soul-searching journey include witches, night terrors, and apparently, nights that are just so darn black! Of course, I could care less about those downfalls if the actual music around them was good, but that's the thing; it just isn't. Tolkki's guitar playing shamelessly steals Yngwie's at every turn, reaching the peak of ridicule during instrumental "Fire Dance" (didn't Rainbow cover that territory already?) I'm pretty sure there isn't a single original concept, riff, or song present in these bland forty minutes of music here. The only songs I find enjoyable to any degree are "Witch-Hunt" and "Black Night," because at least they aren't afraid to rock out every once in a while. Unless you enjoy boring, generic metal, just take a pass on Fright Night; it isn't worth your time.

   Overall: 4/10 (Poor)

Stratovarius - Twilight Time [1992]

Coming off the heels of the mostly worthless Yngwie worship of Fright Night, Twilight Time -or II- represents Stratovarius's first steps into modern power metal. No, this album won't have a lot of soaring choruses or catchy parts as it is still mostly a crunchy, 80's type of record, but there's a few flickering embers of what's to come to be found. The sour aftertaste of the debut can still be felt throughout this thing, but it doesn't completely ruin this album as it did that one. However, another similarity between the two is the amount of filler tracks.

First of all, there are quite a few highlights here. The Hands of Time is a wonderful track that I would rank among the greatest power metal songs of all time. Built around an awesome (if somewhat dated) keyboard intro, an excellent verse riff, and the epic, inspiring chorus, this is just about the best Stratovarius has to offer. The title track kills as well, with its slow, winding passages and nostalgic feel. A welcome improvement on this album is the fact that the longer songs aren't horrible and boring. Madness Strikes at Midnight is a good example of a lengthy track that manages to hold your attention throughout thanks to its interesting buildup.

Unfortunately, Twilight Time really falters after its midpoint, sinking fast until it's really hard to care anymore. Let's see here: first we have the weird The Hills Have Eyes with its overlong intro, then Out of the Shadows and its predictable structure, and finally, the forgettable ballad of Lead Us Into the Light. Oh, yeah, and that instrumental Metal Frenzy is pointless, as well. So basically, what we have here is half a good album and half tripe. Couple that with the fact that the generic air of Fright Night is still somewhat here and problems really start to arise. Once again, this is a release for hardcore Stratovarius fans only. Trust me and just stick to Dreamspace.

   Overall: 6/10 (Fair)

Stratovarius - Fourth Dimension [1995]

Dreamspace was a rare great moment in the Stratovarius catalogue. It was heavy, dark, and creative through and through, not afraid to take risks and not embarrassed to reap their rewards. Naturally, such an album is difficult to live up to, and it was. Very difficult, apparently, since the band wouldn't release anything close to that caliber for nine years. The band's next effort, Fourth Dimension, finally brought Stratovarius into the European power metal realm, a region fraught with over-population and shameless song-stealers. After listening to Dreamspace and then Fourth Dimension, it's hard to believe this is even the same band, because this album is one of the most boring and derivitive recordings I've ever experienced.

First of all, the biggest detractor is the production. In a word, it's terrible. It sucks out all the crunch of the guitars and instead makes them sound like musical pillows, strumming away softly and forcelessly; it sucks out the bass and drums and leaves them by the wayside, forcing you to search aimlessly for some lower end stuff to carry the highs; it sucks out any enjoyment one might find during choruses when all you can are the awful, muffled background chants that accompany them; but most importantly, it just sucks. The entire album is shrouded in this cold-sounding veil that it just never emerges from. Gone is the interesting dark environment of Dreamspace. Here is the cold, emotionless stream of robotic mediocrity.

I hope you like boring, melodic, powerless songs that you've heard a thousand times before by a thousand different bands, 'cause that's what you're going to get! Seriously, this is completely uninspired. The fact that people call this stuff great and later albums like Infinite weak doesn't make much sense to me, because the music, singing, and songwriting are all about the same. At least those later albums have decent production and throw in a different idea every once in a while. Fourth Dimension settles for the bare minimum 100 percent of the time, reusing riffs, choruses, and solos at will. "Hey, guys, it's been, like, two albums since we've used this rhythm. Nobody will notice! Oh wait, we can't favor one over another...Let's just copy this entire song!"

What kills a number of the decent songs are the fact that we've heard better versions of them before. The worst offenders are Against the Wind, with its Helloween carbon copy chorus, Winter, with its Dream Theater worshipping buildup, and the absolutely atrocious 030366, which is a near exact rip-off of Queensryche's Screaming In Digital. Heard enough? No? Okay! Let's go back to Against the Wind. That rhythm during the chorus? It's exactly the same as part of the instrumental Goodbye off of Fright Night. Another fun coincidence? Both of those albums suck.

I can't even comprehend this album's positive reception on any level.  There's hardly a single redeeming factor here that would lead me to listening to this again. After hearing so many better albums in the same style with better production and songwriting (you know, ones that don't use the same song structure every song), it's impossible to appreciate whatever it is that we have here. I still have doubts when I manage to enjoy a song (like the only good ones, Distant Skies and Nightfall), because I can't help but wonder if I can only enjoy it because I haven't heard the song it's ripping off yet.

And, no, the vocalist change doesn't help much; if anything, Kotipelto only emphasizes the abysmal changes that have taken place here. I actually like him, but I don't think anything could save this release. I hate this, but if you're into this kind of stuff, you'll probably like it, because everyone else seems to. I guess I'm just weird. Please give Elements Pt. 1 a chance! Seriously, at least that's varied and has progressive tendencies. This is a seminar of cliched pain that just wears its listener down with overlong, boring songs that keep getting longer until the very end; and believe me, the end can't come soon enough. It makes me feel dirty just writing about such a repulsive entity. Trust me, just walk slowly away from Fourth Dimension. Having three is enough, anyway.

   Overall: 2.5/10 (Abysmal - "NO NO Make it stop!")

Stratovarius - Episode [1996]

The Stratovarius catalogue is a very perplexing thing. I mean, this has to be one of the most inconsistent bands to ever walk the face of the planet. First we got Fright Night, which was an extremely mediocre stab at Yngwie-style 80's metal. Next was Twilight Time, a big improvement and Stratovarius's first step in the modern power metal direction. Afterwards, Dreamspace and its dark brilliance descended upon us. Then, as if that hadn't even happened, Fourth Dimension, their first full fledged European power metal album, unleashed its unspeakably awful quality into the world like a plague. After that atrocity, I had no idea what to expect, if anything. Episode is a lot like Fourth Dimension, except for one crucial detail: it doesn't suck.

My slim hopes that this album wouldn't be terrible were raised within the first few seconds of Father time. Guitar! Real guitar, real riffs, a real production! Maybe this will actually be pretty good! And luckily for me, the victim of many unfulfilled promises, Episode is. It may not be completely great or outstanding at everything it does, but Episode does manage to be a solid effort from beginning to end. The lows are fewer and the highs are higher than on most of Stratovarius's albums, so there's really no risk of a traumatizingly awful moment like in Fourth Dimension. Episode is also much better about not ripping other bands (or themselves), so that's yet another improvement.

The biggest one, however, is the new production. Everything is distinct and the cold, distant air of Fourth Dimension is gone. The riffs now hit us with full force and even, dare I say it, heaviness! Everything about this album is better; seriously. The keyboards are lower in the mix and the tone is much less distracting than before. Vocals are performed better and the clear sound really brings out all the positive qualities of Kotipelto's voice. I think it's underrated how important the production of an album really is, because it affects virtually every aspect in it. Of course, the production also doesn't make an album, and Episode has plenty of good songs to complement its newfound sound.

Eternity is probably best here. Like many of Stratovarius's most successsful tracks, this one has a slow buildup that eventually erupts into an epic, bombastic chorus. Uncertainty is an oddity for the band; using a simple, heavy verse riff along with Kotipelto opting for a low range vocal performance, it almost has a modern rock feel rather than power metal. What's also odd is that something that sounds so terrible could end up coming out so good. The almost progressive Night Time Eclipse is another highlight, portraying a mood of wonder while slowly pacing itself. Finally, closer Forever, the sole ballad of the bunch (!), is pretty much brilliant. Sometimes this gooey acoustic ballad nonsense seems pathetic coming from Strato, but they really pull it off here.

I gotta hand it to Stratovarius: Episode is a pretty damn good album. After the putrid Fourth Dimension, (I know how many times I've said that, but I can't emphasize it enough) I didn't think this could be possible, but it's a reality. Sure, a lot of tracks aren't as memorable as others and it's still a bit too long for my tastes, but how much can you ask for out of this limiting genre? This is probably Stratovarius's fourth or fifth best album, (wow, that actually makes their discography sound good, doesn't it?) and it's not a bad place to start if you're interested in the band. Polaris is of similar quality and wouldn't be a bad choice, either. Just stay away from the self-titled album and Fourth Dimension and you'll be fine; I wouldn't wish those on my worst enemy.

   Overall: 7.5/10 (Good)

Stratovarius - Visions [1997]

For once, Stratovarius manages to come up with a suitable followup to an album with this album. Episode was a really good release that made a complete turnaround from the travesty before (I'm running out of words to decribe that mess). I think I've gotten far enough into the discography to stop discussing the root albums, so I'll just get on with it. Visions is basically trademark, capitalized European Power Metal at its simplest, most explicable form. Everything you'd expect is here: the upbeat guitar riffs, the (almost desperately) catchy choruses, keyboard orchestration, soaring, Kiske-like vocals, ect. I don't just bow down to Stratovarius or any band that just settles for the mean, however, so naturally I expect a bit more.

First of all, let me just say that the production is excellent. This is perhaps one of the best mixes I've ever heard, especially for 1997. Everything is perfectly clear and every instrument is given a lift by it. The biggest improvements are in the keyboard and synthesizer tones, which have taken a huge leap forward. In the past, Stratovarius was often plagued with poppy keyboard intrusions in perfectly decent, forceful metal songs. That's no problem here, which Black Diamond quickly demonstrates in its song-carrying synth parts. The bass also seems to be getting more attention than ever before, because it is used more and and its actually audible for once.

Obviously, that facet of Visions is not anything I find fault with, thankfully. No, the real problem here is the amount of songs that completely fail to move me or stick in my memory, a problem that would just get worse on Destiny. Visions too often uses cliched power metal staples, opting to not bring any new ideas to the table like Dreamspace or even Episode did. There are so many songs that sound too alike, using 4/4, repetitive drumming, and Helloween sing-along choruses. The end result is more of an hour-long of samey songs than a varied piece of work. Sure, it's coherent, but at what cost? My interest, that's what. I find that my apathy climaxes during the ridiculously overlong title track, an obvious attempt to go "epic" that utterly fails. More pointless tracks are the obligatory instrumental Holy Light and payoff-free ballad, Coming Home.

The album is not free from rewarding tracks, though. Opener Black Diamond is a refreshing, modern power-piece, and a love song that isn't a ballad (gasp)! The most creative song here is the quasi-ballad, Before the Winter. This one has a rather wondrous, beautiful feel, complemented by Kotipelto's brilliant vocal performance. Another reason why this song is so good is the fact that it doesn't try to stick some nonconforming chorus in the middle of it. Best of the album, for sure. The last somewhat standout track here is Abyss of Your Eyes, with a Queensryche-like lead riff and an intersting pre-chorus. Unfortunately, that's about it; the second half of Visions, like the second half of so many other Stratovarius albums, is devoid of memorable or necessary tracks.

In the end, Visions is yet another Stratovarius album that just isn't enough. Maybe if it had a few more good songs, maybe if it was heavier during the non artsy ones, maybe if it was shorter...Well, that's a lot of maybes, and by now you should see what this album's problem is; very vividly, I hope. Unfortunately, Visions is actually a step higher than most of Stratovarius's albums past this, as this was the start of a rapid descent into mediocrity. Now, this album isn't really that bad, and although I can't reccomend like I can some of the others (Elements Pt. 1, Polaris), I'll say that it may be worth checking out if you're into the genre. I still can't see what others see in these 90's Strato albums, but maybe you will. I'll stick to the more consistent stuff.

   Overall: 6.5/10 (Fair - a miss, but not by much)

Stratovarius - Destiny [1998]

Another year, another Stratovarius album, and another step on the incremental decline. Visions was one level down from Episode, and Destiny is yet another level down from that. This is the album that prompted my series of down to Earth reviews of Stratovarius albums, since everyone seems to believe that their 90's albums are the greatest things to ever exist. The truth is that most of them are completely average and that some are even bad. The fact that many believe this to be their best album is a complete joke, because Destiny is barely any better than Infinite, which is considered a major downfall. I hate to sound like a power metal hater, because that's mostly not what I am; I just hate it when a band keeps releasing the same album every year when that album isn't even that good anyway.

Destiny is basically just Visions Pt. 2, except that it's a lot worse. Why, you ask? A more appropriate question would be where to start. First off, I can tell something's wrong right from the beginning. Two ultra-long tracks? Uh oh. If you've heard Visions or read my review for it, then you know that Stratovarius doesn't know how to do epic songs. Nothing's changed here; Destiny and Anthem of the World are totally boring and pointless throughout. I deem the latter to be worse than anything on Infinite, a horrible environmental message that goes about nine minutes too far. Even worse is the fact that these songs are the first and last tracks of the album, making Destiny feel like an eternity despite the fact that it is one of Stratovarius's shorter albums.

In between those lackluster time-wasters, the rest of the tracks are not much better. No Turning Back is trademark Stratovarius: reusing the exact same idea yet again, with simple, repetitive verses that lead to an even more boring chorus. There's nothing novel or nostalgic about this; it's just done to dirt, over and over again. Rebel follows suit, another freaking identical song with the same structure, same bad, typical power metal lyrics, and same over-the-top cheesy chorus. How people make it through albums like this without getting bored is beyond me, and it's barely halfway over. Years Go By is the obligatory power ballad, complete with that same verse you've heard a million times before that leads into that same old chorus. Dull, uninspired, pointless... All these words come to mind. God, just let it end!

Highlights? Fewer than ever before, although the scant amount of them really are good. S.O.S. is beyond excellent, presenting the album's only good lyrics. Kotipelto actually sounds like he gives a damn for once, chanting his way through the awesome, buoyant chorus. Playing With Fire is good only in a classic, bad 80's way, as this thing screams hair metal in every way. Somehow it's a highlight.
The only stab at creativity here is the unique Venus in the Morning, actually breaking out some progressive and strange sounding stuff. I have a feeling that this is one of those that's only good because there's nothing else here like it. Ballad 4000 Rainy Nights is decent, but I liked it much better when Queensryche did it eight years before (Seriously, Another Rainy Night? Come on.) The rest is completely weak and lifeless.

Why am I even surprised anymore? This seems to happen every time with Stratovarius; they get one good album with good ideas and then reuse that album and those ideas with less and less success with each subsequent release. The fact that Destiny is only slightly below par for Stratovarius is pretty sad, because the material here is mostly worthless. This thing gets worse every time I hear it, and I wouldn't listen to Destiny again. It may not be Fourth Dimension bad, or even bad in a complete sense, but it just goes on and on in an interminable fashion. From the very first second it starts playing, you just want Destiny to end, and you shouldn't want that from a good album, obviously. When will people wake up and realize that there is virtually no difference between this and what fans deem to be the worst albums? Never.

   Overall: 5.5/10 (Mediocre)

Stratovarius - Infinite [2000]

Here we go again. You're probably wondering why I should even bother with this one, as most seem to know how misguided it is (unlike Destiny and Visions, which everyone seems delusion about). Yep, this is "good" old European power metal right here, taken to a whole new ridiculous level of cheese. In other words, it's a normal 90's Stratovarius album. To answer your question, I choose to bother with this one because I'm both a completist and one who wants justice to be done. Justice, in this case, is ensuring that no one else gets victimized by this worthless crap. At least their previous albums had highlights and good monents in there; this is basically awful from beginning to end, or at least so boring that it's pointless to listen to.

Opener Hunting High and Low just personifies everything that's wrong with Infinite. This song is the template for every one of the others, so you'd hope that it could be somewhat decent. Guess what? It's bad. Really bad. Besides being identical to practically every other song Stratovarius has ever done, it also manages to be even worse than those with its horrible lyrics and groan-inducing chorus. Anything this melodic and desperately sing-along bores me to no end. Maybe this would have been a good song if it, I don't know, had a good vocal performance to back it up, but Kotipelto just makes it worse. Apparently he's given up on even acting like he gives a shit about this band, as he doesn't seem to be slightly trying here. No emotion at all.

And just think, that's only one song. For all the others I could pretty much put 'insert Hunting High and Low review here' and be done with it, but unfortunately, I'm forced to suffer through finding the exact words to tell you why every song on this album sucks. Oh, I almost forgot, you know those epicly long Stratovarius "songs" that I love so much? Well, just like on Destiny, we get two more! Lucky us! Mother Gaia comes early on to steal away our hopes of there being a decent song on the album. It's basically an eight minute ballad with no repeating parts that goes absolutely nowhere. The mid-section piano part with Kotipelto's lounge singing is completely and utterly putrid. Then the title track closes out this cadaver of an album, and keeping with the tradition of Stratovarius title tracks on the last three albums, it drags on endlessly and lifelessly.

There are more straightforward power tracks in the bunch besides the opener, providing little jolts of the scant quality to be found here. Most of them aren't really good, just settling for being extremely average, if that's even possible. Once again, they're exactly as you would expect: you know, pretty much the same. Same structures, same choruses, just with different lyrics of equally pitiful quality and enough subtle differences in songwriting for them to register as separate tracks. The guilty party includes many, Phoenix being the frontrunner and Freedom being the runt of an already small litter with it's pathetic, nauseating anthemic chorus. You really can't go wrong here; there's plenty of equally mediocre songs to chose from  for those who will accept low grade, zero effort crap. For those who like good music with purpose and quality, walk the other way now; you won't find either of those here.

   Overall: 4.5/10 (Poor - another one off the factory line)